Friday 31 July 2009

Journo, 30+ gsoh, ns seeks masochist to share laughs and late nights

I have been single for a long time. Too long.
I often question why, since I have had long term relationships before.
Clearly I have many issues.
Anger, selfishness, a sometimes obnoxious often narcissistic personality, a talent for fibbing, shallowness, a sense of superiority, rudeness and an almost tourettes-like propensity for swearing.
But enough of my good points.
I remember when my last serious girlfriend left me. We owned a house together, had moved a long way from home together and both worked for big newspapers.
Unfortunately she worked in advertising and I worked in news.
Her switchboard closed down at 5.30pm. Our subs started working then and calls and queries would come in thick and fast and continued well after the time I arrived home. Usually at 8.30pm.
When I worked late, late on Friday and was back in the office for a 14 hour day on Saturday she was often surprised when I wanted to do fuck all on Sunday except chill out and watch some TV.
Her complaint was that she was bored all day Saturday because I wasn't there.
My attitude. At least you weren't fucking working.
This bullshit continued for a time until one Tuesday an ominous text appeared - "We need to talk."
Oh fuck, here we go.
It wasn't a surprise she left and after some tears and shouting, that, as they say, was that.
Four years of my life down the shitter.
I look back now and wonder, however, was my work utimately to blame or did I work harder to get out of the relationship?
Who knows. All I know is that it was a period of my life that I was deeply unhappy, in a job I hated, with a girlfriend who didn't make any effort to understand what I did for a living.
She's married now. Good for her. I hope she's fat.
So why am I still single.
I think it's because of nights like these.
Nights where I come home utterly despondent and depressed. Fucked off with my shitty life and my shitty job.
Nights where I finally realise that no matter what I do and how hard I try, management don't care about what we do.
Nights when I think that twenty years in this game have been for nothing.
Nights when I realise that most people see me as the ranty old man crapping on about the past.
Nights when all the shit I have waded through starts catching up and the darkness starts to get harder to suppress.
Why would I want to share all that with anyone I actually liked?

ps Did I mention I like animals?

18 comments:

  1. Agony Auntie says - Well that's what you get for shagging advertising.

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  2. You sound like a f***ing nightmare to live with. Stay single. Think damage limitation.

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  3. Find another hack - you'll be wading through the same shit together. Sometimes it's great, and sometimes you just make each other more miserable. But you always understand. And you never get an irritating 'why are you still at work?' text to interrupt you when you're working on the splash.
    From a female journalist in a (relatively) successful relationship with a sub.

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  4. The Fifth Yorkshireman3 August 2009 at 23:12

    You like animals? Get a cat.

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  5. I am soooo loving your blog..............

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  6. Please don't get a cat, I'll only start worrying about it.

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  7. Don't get a cat. I did - it doesn't work.

    You'll come home one night to a note that says that while it really liked you as a person the sex was rubbish.

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  8. I think you'll find the note was from the tele-ads girl you were shagging. She was out clubbing while you were chasing a story.... and went off pissed in a taxi with a semi-pro footballer who convinced her he plays for Chelsea.
    The cat just got the hump and moved in with the old lady over the road.

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  9. 30 plus how many years? Humour me.

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  10. More than 5 less than 10. Fancy a drink?

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  11. Oooh...a romance brewing (but be careful Blunt... we fans don't want to see you unmasked).

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  12. I best confess now, I'm a PR bird...

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  13. Grrr! Are you a press officer or one of the random press release brigade?

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  14. Not totally reluctant voyeur28 August 2009 at 17:10

    Oh get a room you two - on her exes account of course

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  15. I'm an agency type. Well, was. I've just gone freelance and my releases are most def not random. Targeted like a laser...

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  16. Whoops- that anon comment was from me.

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  17. So Lainey, you going to keep teasing or give me a way of contacting you? Maybe I can teach you the error of your PR ways.

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  18. The error of my ways? I've had no complaints so far...

    You could always give prlainey@gmail.com a bash.

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