Lies, damned lies and the management

Do you know what I hate about newspaper managers? It's not that they are cunts. I can deal with nasty wankers - plenty of councillors fit this description. It's not even that they are liars, I deal with bullshit every day.
The reason why I hate newspaper managers is that they are lying cunts who think you do not KNOW that they are lying cunts.
Take my MD. To your face nice as pie. Behind your back snidey and sniping. So far so management arsehole.
But when he tells you that the newspaper you work for must make cuts to survive, ony to find out - three months and eight editorial redundancies down the line - that the paper is still making a healthy profit, albeit reduced from pre recession years, you are understandably angry.
Next we are told that cutting distribution will cut costs. Only by X per cent maximum you are told. Of course what they fail to tell you is that they had already cut distribution by X per cent so in reality you are XX papers down.
Who fields the calls? Certainy not the rat faced weasel who ordered the fucking thing!
Pagination must come down to save on printing. Fair enough you think until you realise its not just lost news pages at the back of the book but the cash hungry whores are changing the fundamental feel of the paper by selling everything that ain't nailed down. By this time, if it weren't for the copious amount of cheap grog you are necking, you are murderous in your rage for the short term attitude of the greatest bunch of newspaper murderers you have ever known.
Newspapers aren't dead - they are being slowly euthanised by the very companies that purport to care for the product.
Every cut in staff, every drop in promotion spend, every page lost or copy not delivered is slowly strangling the life out of newspapers.
It's not a public apathy that is killing the local paper - it is its own management's short termism to grab a few extra quid.
I am not advocating journalists running papers -for fuck's sake most of us can't run our own lives - but at least consult them.
We know what the readers - our customers, our advertisers - want and think. We live and breathe what we do. We ARE our newspapers.
Please stop systematically raping us you management cunts.

Why I love subs

Since I began in this industry (before the internet and before mobile phones were affordable) newspaper companies have been trying to remove subs.
An extra layer of cost in a department that most executives already see as an unjustifiably expensive outlay. After all who cares if the news part of the newspaper is worth reading, right?
So far they have mostly failed.
Some idiotic fools have tried letting reporters write straight on to the page. Madness. Have you ever tried to sub your own work? I try to sub the dribble I write (honestly) and I still leave in major typos, badly constructed sentences and overwritten chod.
Plus, have you ever met a reporter who responds well to criticism. Every word most hacks write is worthy of an award in their eyes, so how are they supposed to be critical of it?
This is why I love subs. A good sub can humble the greatest news hack or editor. Many times has a sub comes up to me with copy I have supposedly, edited and passed on to a page, and asked a question so bleeding obvious I turn red.
I always blame it on the volume of copy I read. But in reality it's because I have read the intro, made sure it has an end and banged it on a page cos it's going in the back of the book and I can't be arsed.
I vow to myself to change my ways but this episode happens on a weekly basis.
A fresh pair of eyes on a story is a wonderful thing but when that fresh pair of eyes belongs to a pedantic, fussy, vindicative sub it is a godsend.

The Lord giveth...................

................and the utter bastards taketh away.
I have been unseasonably jolly and upbeat in the last week. Mainly due to management buoying our spirits with uplifting news about 'investment' and 'new troops'. I have to admit I was fooled. I honestly thought they were going to start creating a new future for us downtrodden proles.
But, fuck me, if I wasn't wrong.
Without going into too much detail, instead of moving the products forwards they are taking a massive retrograde step which involves, among others, a drastic loss of the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning - editorial space.
It is, they say, short term but I can't help feeling that these evil weasels and purveyors of false hope and mistruth are lying out of their puckered arses.
I can't help but think that once the bean counters see the revenues they are making from these 'news-lite' editions they will never go back.
With less edit space we can then look forward to a need for less reporters and subsequently less subs. Fuck it we could even drop a snapper or two.....why not combine a couple of desks and cut out a couple of bosses.
Look at all the lovely profits rolling in.
I could understand this approach - the redundancies, the cuts in pages and distribution and promotion if we were losing money.
Funny thing is we ain't. We just ain't making as much profit as last year and that really sucks balls.
It is funny how the very people bleating about the demise of this beautiful and valuable industry are the same ones destroying it with their short-sighted, profit-grabbing, greedy bullshit.
Only one good thing has come of this.
I'm feeling mean again.

Loss

My best reporter told me he was leaving today. He is psychologically flawed in the extreme but, damn, he is a great reporter. Give him a tip off and a brief and within deadline comes back a perfectly written tale. He makes his own contacts, goes to meetings on his own volition and has a real understanding of what I need when the shite inevitably hits the fan.
I have to admit a sense of sadness, but he has outgrown our paper and needs new challenges. I wish him the very best.
But with his departure comes a sense of new adventure. I get to replace him with a fresh soul.
It may be an internal appointment within our very own news hub or from our vast media organisation but undoubtedly I will get a large number of candidates when we advertise.
I favour the internal choice. Firstly they will now what they are doing but more importantly they will already have been witness to my rage.
I am excited by an external candidate, however. New blood on our desk. New lives, new friends, new experiences. More important a sense of hope in our industry which has been blighted by so many cuts.
Just a few months ago thinking of replacing a departing colleague was unheard of, now it is a reality (not that they have much choice seeing how tight things are here).
I, personally, can't wait to see what happens.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Or so they say! I was becoming a bit mental with the blog so I took some time off to calm down and take stock.
Things are looking up a little at work. No more redundancies lately and we are being told that staff will be replaced if they leave now. Needless to say we are massively overstretched at moment and just about getting a paper worth reading out each week.
No new resources clearly so its nose to the grindstone and try and get out as good a paper as we can.
With the recession over we now wait to see if editorial reinvestment is to come so we can start doing our jobs properly again!

You can't swot a fly with a laptop

Been away a while not really sure what to write, upset that anger has clouded my judgement. But the title of this blog sums up my point. Newspapers are a great format, almost perfect in what they do.
Deliver information, opinion, analysis in a concise easy to manage way (maybe not broadsheet for the inexperienced),
Let's look at the evidence -
Accessible - on sale practically everywhere with no need for readers, laptops, phones, or other specialist equipment which in every case costs a significant amount to get hold of.
Marketable - It has everything from news to horoscopes, crosswords to recipes, columns to sport, business to cartoons and more. Consider a decent Sunday most of the time you are reading bits in the week because you didn't have time on Sunday. That is one hell of a package.
Hidden extras - When you search online you generally know what you are looking for. Admittedy you can trail off but most of the time you are online for a reason. Newspapers give you random knowledge. Stuff you didn't think was interesting but packaged attractively enough you wanted to read on.
Bug proof - It's aready written. It is in your hands. What can go wrong. No slow connections. No crashing while loading a picture. Jump from page to page as quickly as your hands will turn regardless of connection speed. Watch out for rain.
Practical - Pass on an article you wanted your mate to read. Online you woud email it to a friend. Newspaper you just simply tear the bugger out and hand it over. Similarly that recipe or the address for a good restaurant or clothes shop. A voucher for money off. A good headline you want to nail to a colleagues desk. No need to check an email account or print something out.
Have you ever taken a laptop to the toilet; wrapped up your plates and glasses while moving with a computer; shredded one for cat litter, washed your windows with a Dell; done a crossword or Sudoku on a lap top; drawn horns on a disliked celebrity; rolled it up and whacked a friend or enemy???
Don't discount print for online until we have truly weighed up why we want to see this format die and tell me it has anything other than to do with cost.

Indifference...........

Another two people lose their jobs today. Two more not to be replaced. Editor to maker announcement about overstaffed desk. No doubt more shit to come. But I am beyond caring. I care not about my job or of those around me. Why? Because this disgusting bullshit is now inevitable. It is not a question of if, but when. Clearly, I am glad it was not me. But do I care when it is?
Probably not. Due to journalism (or my fucked up sensibilities) I have fuck all. No house, no wife, no kids, I am ultimately recession proof. I'll get another job out of the game and move out of my bedsit to a cheaper shit hole to survive.
Am I happy about this situation? No. The disgust and anger burns through me like a hot poker. It takes so much not to walk into the MD's office, take a shit in his drawer and call him a cowardly cunt.
These maggots intentions are clear.
Community correspondents instead of journalists. Let's call it hyperlocal to dress it up.
Internet's the future - only because it costs less than papers.
Who needs subs - because we will never write anything remotely contentious to need a second glance.
How about investment in editorial producing papers - either free or paid for - that are worth reading. You know why. It costs cash.